Looking for Peace

It occurs to me that this cancer trip is like driving a formerly reliable but now sketchy car on a winding road late at night through a heavily wooded area in icy conditions. The doctors have recommended this road, which could lead us out of the dark forest to a sunny meadow brimming with wildflowers. But no guarantees. And it can be a very long road with sharp turns and unexpected hazards.

For the first few months after my metastatic melanoma diagnosis, it felt as if Elvira and I were just trying to avoid a crash. We hit black ice several times, sending the car skidding across the road. We almost ran out of gas before my combination treatments were done. Car parts grunted and groaned as we moved steadily forward, but nothing broke. At least, nothing essential.

Yesterday, my oncologist provided a peek at what might be down the road. He mentioned the possibility of sending me down to a UCLA melanoma specialist (the same one in Melanoma without a Cause) to explore next steps. With no new growth and apparently only one tumor showing remnants of disease, the question is whether my immune system is sufficiently tuned up by more than a year of treatment to keep me on the right road. Advances in immunotherapy also give doctors more treatment options.

This view of future treatment is exciting, but we cannot look too far ahead. We need to keep our eyes on every inch of the road even to have a chance at seeing that sunny meadow. But having a chance is all we ask.